My sister sent me this poem today- I just have to share it. This is really how I feel-(and I thought I had finally stopped crying.)

This Year for Christmas

I skipped the sales after Thanksgiving.

The thrill just wasn't there.

No pictures taken with Santa Clause, my decorating has no flair.

His presents are shoes, shirts, and ties, two suits and socks...no fun.

I've bought him all white clothes because...

This year I'm giving Christ my son.

I've spent more time in the temple,

Felt strength come from His words.

I've reread November's Ensign,

and my testimony stirred.

Our family prays more frequently

My tears are quick to run.

Abraham seems closer because,

This year I'm giving Christ my son.

I wonder how those Lamanite mothers,

gave their sons to war?

Or how the pioneers chose Zion ,

their sacrifice was so much more.

My loss will be his presence,

I'll miss his smile a ton

For two years we will pray for him,

I'm giving Christ my son.

I stare at his face when he's not looking.

I memorize his eyes, their shine.

He's always hungered for the part of him

, that makes his soul divine.

The stories and lessons he always heard,

His choice and mine are one.

I'll put my faith in God's hand,

This year, I'm giving Him my son.

Past gifts have lost their glitter,

I think I finally understand

Christ's birth should be celebrated

by giving Him a hand.

It's because I know Christ lives and reigns

that all his packing's done.

My gift has taken years to make,

This year... I'm giving Christ my son

I am missing you Brian~ mom

May the Lord bless you and our missionary children as they serve him with all their hearts!