Valentine's Day 2019

Today I found out the gender of my grandchild to be! YES a new baby is on the way- no details can be spilled at this moment-- except yes we will have our 9th grandchild this year.

It's FANTASTIC and we could not be happier! Honestly- I am just overwhelmed with joy about this new baby.

Then I lost my new prescription glasses somehow on the way home. 

@#*$(!+^!?#%!

I've back tracked all my steps- even to the post office and Walmart...

about my last post

I realize my last post could be offensive to some people- I have options- I have choices.

I am lucky- blessed - whatever you want to call it. I'm not complaining- just stating my experience. 

I will say that I have a lot of responsibility. Most I have never discussed on this format.

Of course, No one's life is what it seems on social media. 

I want to be better about that but I am still scared to be 100% truthful.

For Valentine's Day this Year 

Brett left this little note below on the kitchen counter for me to find in the morning.

AND

Brought home the box of Ruby Snap Cookies above - after work!

HE IS THE BEST

I love him...

and now I can't see without my glasses...

an unofficial spokeswoman

Sometimes I wonder if I am going to turn into the neighborhood/area authority on Mental Illness. I've thought about it for years now. It even weighs on me at times- kind of silly right?
Not to me.

I feel this need to keep private
but on the other hand--
The world is full of different people.
Different struggles & challenges.
I see my limited view of those people and how a majority of them have loved ones in their lives with Mental Illness.
An Aunt, Cousin, Sister, Brother, their own child or even..... themselves!
I wonder if I starting talking about it- would help or just hurt?
Actually to be honest-
I wonder if I will hurt myself?

Putting what I have learned out into the blogging universe is scary.

Today I have decided that
I must.
I've certainly never been a, "quiet" person.

So- intermingled between family history there will be posts on real life.
Life - a good life lived with Mental Illness swirling around me.

Mental Illness- it's not a swear word-
It's so hard to say though.

step one: it's okay- it's going to be okay.
Yes- it sucks.
But you are not alone
NEVER are you alone in your struggles.

There are others who have come before you & live - even thrive!
It's true.

trip to campus MOA

Last week Hailey & I picked up Chloe & headed to the

 Museum of Art on the Brigham Young University Campus.

It was a blast!

A great activity for a hot, hot summer day.

 Right now there is a fantastic exhibit called Work To Do
Click on the words & check it out! We loved some of it, were confused by some of it, it made us think... and most importantly we had a GREAT time.

This was my favorite & very thought provoking.

Think about it-

both plants got equal amounts of water & light.

One is spoken only "good" words to-

the other only "evil" words.

The difference was obvious. Not huge- but obvious.

Leave a comment- and let me know what you think about this! 

I think it's amazing- absolutely amazing.

***

Chloe could only stay with us for a couple of hours, but afterward we met up with Jack.

He needed some new clothes so we headed out with him and... 

it's always fun to be out shopping with Jack.

That's really all I have to say about that.

We headed to dinner with a gift card to Olive Garden I was given- (LOVE Gift cards)

And- I realized how fun to be out with my two

Middle Children!

I am pretty sure this has never happened before.

It was great. These are two fantastic kids.

Jack is working for the summer. He has a job & an internship. 

He also has a .... girlfriend... and we are loving that!

Hailey- just started school to learn American Sign Language.

She is loving it & hoping to work with Autistic kids or just be an interpreter for the hearing impaired.

She is so good at this kind of thing! We are really excited for her.

I am sad that I didn't take any pictures with me in them???

I was there!

I really was!

But notice I did get a picture of my mushroom ravioli?

it was good-

the real deal

A couple of weeks ago

the big boys (Brian & Jack) took Chloe & Laura 

fishing with them.

Look at this~

Chloe caught a big ol' fish!!!

She even brought it home & cooked it outside on the grill.

Sunday she made dinner

ALL BY HERSELF

rolls- the girls can make some mighty fine breads-

mashed potatoes & gravy

not to mention...

roasted lemon & thyme chicken.

It was so good.

~Chloe- she's the Real Deal~

off to work

So yesterday there was No School due to the end of term last Friday. I'm all good with that- except for the weather was rough- snow/rain mix all day. Trent didn't care- he was over the top thrilled - because dad had invited him to lunch at his office. This is a rare occurrence & therefore VEry exciting for the big/little guy. He got up & got dressed- I reminded him he needed to look nice at dad's office.

He replied that sometimes he doesn't "do his hair very good"

so we decided he should wear a hat.He took along his NIntendo DS - just in case he got bored.Dad decided it would be a good thing to let Trent come up to his office on his own...? I'm a little over protective- but agreed & dropped him off, watched him walk in, then waited for brett to confirm he made it off the elevator- feewww. I guess I should lighten up?

Trent had so much fun & was so good, he ended up spending the whole afternoon. this was so helpful for me - I finished my quilt & dropped it off at the quilters. (This is thrilling- making a quilt was one of my year goals & here it is only March!!) We used the same system picking him up- He looks so big.

(I don't know why this is sideways? I didn't take it sideways like I usually do-)

My house is TRashED & I am feeling really low.
I am plagued with negative thoughts & overwhelmed with the mess I have created.
Maybe it's the lazy eye taking over--
or the severe wrinkles on my forehead?
Somehow- making a quilt- threw me off my groove.
Oh the price of getting something done.....

I don't like change, but I love cupcakes

A couple of weeks ago my wonderful friend & neighbor Linda sent over these darling, delicious cupcakes! I was going to blog about them... but there were too many school things on my mind.

***

Now that summer is officially here- I am slipping down into the dumps. It's raining, my schedule has completely changed. I have no where to go, but tons of stuff to do that I don't want to do. It all comes down to this...

I just don't like change.

Since change is such a guarantee in this life, I really need to get over it.

These cupcakes are really over the top amazing. Kind of like Linda herself. She's one of the most creative, amazing people I have ever met- she's truly a nice person & cute too! I feel like a better person having her for my friend. Coconut lemon cupcakes mmmm. NOtice the homemade lemon curd in the middle- Linda- WOW!! I feel so blessed & lucky to have such great women in my life. My family, my friends.
This weekend there was a death in my husband's family. A cousin's son died of a drug overdose. Last night I found out a good friend whom I haven't seen in a while, her husband has cancer & it's not looking too good. Her kids are the same ages as my middle four. They were bestest friends & we spent many a summer together back in my water park days. I feel so overwhelmed with saddness for them. I sent a card this morning.
What to do?
All I know is I have been reminded to make the most of all the time I have on this earth- love others- be the best I can be- and love myself enough to let that be good enough.

This is a really weird post, I know. Some deep thoughts to go along with cupcakes.
How's your summer going?

30 for june

1. I am nervous because my missionary didn't email this week. I know I should just relax but... it's harder than it sounds.
2. I am also nervous about having a bored & hyper eight year old home for the summer.
3. I have plans, mostly in my mind I need to make a list-- many, many lists.
4. I over schedule everything. I love to have a plan & a list.
5. Schedules & calendars make me happy.
6. I don't always follow them, but they make me happy none the less.
7. I wanted to be a doctor when I was in elementary school.
8. Back then I thought I could do anything.
9. Several years ago like 12 ... I went to a doctor who had gone to college the same time as me. I could have been a doctor by then...? what??
10. It frustrated me to no end.
11. I was pretty shaken up thinking I was waisting my life raising a family.
12. All better.
13. I stunk at school so it's not like there was any chance- seriously- what in the world?
14. I change my sheets every week.
15. Sometimes more than once a week. I just really like crisp, clean sheets.
16. I love chocolate fudge pop tarts & ate four of them on one day this past week... whoops.....
17. I typically avoid pop tarts for obvious reasons.
18. and ding dongs, but I think I've mentioned that before.
19. My husband owned a pizza restaurant just after college for a couple of months.
20. It bombed - but I can make a killer pizza now.
21. My favorite is spinach & fresh tomato. I posted the recipe a long time ago... here it is.
22. I saw Lionel Richie in concert when I was 17.
23. Tina Turner was opening for him.
24. The guy I went with bragged about how great the tickets were for weeks.
25. We sat so far away that they looked like tiny little ants. We were literally the highest & farthest seat away in the whole tacoma dome. I felt so bad for him, he must have been so embarrassed. We broke up right after that.
26. It's year book time & I am really looking forward to posting my kids funniest signings.
27. I found out a couple of years ago (after it happened) that in 8th grade Brian signed all of his friend's yearbooks- "Don't do drugs- trust me, love Brian"
28. He thought that was really funny??? what in the world???!!!-I swear that kid-aaarrgh!
29. So that means all those kids parents read that- geez louiz-
30. my sweet hearts birthday is this month!! Happy birthday brett- love you!

grateful

Thank you to all the service men & women out there.

Freedom isn't free.
Four years ago we came here - Arlington National Cemetary- to put Brett's grandfather to rest. He was 94 when he passed but had been a Navy Commander. It was the thrill of a lifetime. Our kids will never forget it, neither will I. Last night as Brett & I were talking about today we were thinking what an amazing experience it would be to be there on Memorial Day.

It's been a crazy week for me.

Crazy busy, loaded with things to get done.

I am feeling very discouraged, because the work... it just keeps coming.

Today I just couldn't/didn't want the day to start.

Sometimes it's just too much- too overwhelming- then I get up & get going.

I found these pictures while downloading Brian's camera photos.

All but the next one that is.

One fun thing from last week- (there were many)

Chloe & Caroline came home for lunch on Friday.

They are a delightful pair. I am so glad Chloe has Caroline in her life.

They are sweet friends but have lots of other friends too.

They are kindred spirits. I know they will always be friends.

Megan was here last Sunday for conference.

I am not sure what the heck this is... but I like it.

This must be from summer, since Bandos went home with

Grandma & Grandpa in August.

Brian & Jack miss him, but it was time for Bandos to go home.

We had him for almost a year. What fun for everyone.

Thanks G&G for loaning him out.

Well, it's another week & I am on my quest for BALANCE again.

I have to say that I do love my life. I feel very blessed.