senior photos~ Chloe Edition!

Can you believe.... this?

This girl!

She is amazing- Truly amazing!

She has been through so much- and even with all the hospital time etc.- she did it!

She graduated and on. time. with her class. 

This is a big, fat deal for any kid- but for Chloe... it's an even bigger accomplishment.

She went back to her public High School nearly 9 months after with withdrew her last year. 

We worked with an amazing school counselor (we LOVE our school counselor- he has been so much help) to get her schedule just right. He communicated with the teachers - us too.  She had a bit to make up- she did most of the make up in the hospital & didn't really have a summer vacation last year. 

In fact- it was no vacation at all.

 It was hard work & very difficult for her & the whole entire family. 

But then look at her! Look at us!

Look at us now!

 Miracles happen & they happen to real people. 

In every class - as a "new" student, most kids knew her but didn't know where she went?

She gave a little presentation on Tourette Syndrome & Depression. She talked frankly about her illnesses & it was amazing what it did. At first- it was hard & painful at times. There were the typical "popular girls" who rolled their eyes & whispered behind her back- p.s. she could hear you... idiots.

Then the kids who are just clueless & don't get it. 

Kids who treated her like she was deaf & would talk slowly & ask her oddly if she was okay.

But-- there were others- kids who she could tell needed to see someone get through a day of depression, to see that they could get through it too. Tourette did not get her! 

She ticked (mostly swearing- yes lovely in High School) and laughed! 

Her seminary teacher was the best-

He got up in front of the class & said

"Yes, Chloe says shit.

It's just a word.

Let's all say it together-- shit."

That was that.

People stare- but can you blame them- she is beautiful!

Inside & Out

*This is Kevin- he is named after Chloe's celebrity crush, Kevin James. He is a HUGE stuffed dog. We bought him for Chloe while she was in the hospital to help her feel touch. In the hospital- it's not uncommon for doctor's & nurses & staff to not touch their patients. In fact in some situations it's not allowed. She was going through a lot of counseling etc. and we could not be there to give her hugs. This dog is so big it felt comforting to have him with her at night. On really hard days, nights she would lay on Kevin. It was like having someone there to hold her. Ya- we love him.

 Human touch - don't take it for granted.

Go Hug Someone Today!*

Behind the scenes with our wonderful photographer - Anisha!

More on Chloe- her progress & where she has been-

Prom- Graduation - future plans... to come.

17 - Chloe's August Birthday

Chloe came home from the treatment center she has been living at (most of the time) this summer

just in time- for her birthday!

I asked her best buddies to come over during lunch & celebrate with us.

I made pizzas & we had soda & mini chocolate bundt cakes! 

We had a family dinner too...

but I have no pictures of that.

Oh the shame.

Or maybe we just had everyone here for lunch?

Gosh I don't even remember.

Tony couldn't have been here? I see Jack & Emily but no Brian & Laura & the twinners?

Anyhow---

We were so happy to have Chloe home & So happy to be celebrating her birthday.

It's been a long hard year for her.

Someday when she is ready- should be soon- I will post about her struggle with mental illness.

 But for now- She is doing very well & should be discharged and living at home for good- soon. 

Like, real soon.

Even possibly the end of the month.

-sigh-

That will be awesome and kind of scary & mostly awesome.

I just love her so much & want to fix it all - immediately.

life just doesn't work that way

But- it does get better- and it is

getting better.

So- if anyone out there is struggling with depression, anxiety, or especially tourette syndrome- just know that it gets better. It always gets better. It may get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.

Chloe with her BIG present!

TWO TICKETS TO SEE HER FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD...

BILL COSBY

He is coming to Salt Lake City in February & it's on her bucket list to see him in person!

So excited we got these tickets for her.

I love you Chloe

You are one Brave, Strong, Valiant, Beautiful, Loving, young woman.

I feel humble & blessed to be your mom.

yesterday PLUS an announcement

I got up & got a bunch of chores done yesterday morning...

lots & lots

and

it felt good.

(the hallway inside the garage door)

As I walked through my house in the morning light, I was struck by how much I love this house. It's far from perfect & needs a lot of work- in so many areas...

But it is my dream home. It looks like me & Brett, it's has my personality all over it.

It says family to me.

 Ya- I like it here.

***

I headed down to the hospital to pick up Chloe.

I had permission to take her off grounds for the whole day 12-8:00 PM- Woo Hoo!

We headed straight to lunch at Stan's! 

Gyros & Cheeseburgers with onion ring & fries.

 Oh man- that beats hospital food any day.

(Wende sent Chloe a big pack of sharpies because she knows how much she loves them, she isn't allowed to keep them there so I put them in her room when I got home.)

I had a package for Chloe 

(I usually do)

Full of little things she needed from home AND gifts from kind people-

 kind people that I love more than anything in the world.

 So many people have sent me down with little things for her!

I have never once asked- they just do.

I appreciate them & hope that angels bless them & their posterity forever more.

Is there anything better in the world than someone doing something kind?

Not something huge - just something kind.

Something thoughtful and kind and- for my sick child?

(tears)

People are so good.

A sweet family in our congregation -Hi Jennifer- sent a big envelope full of art work from everyone (she has six beautiful children) for her room! Each child & both parents made all these darling things for her.

 Pictures & jewelry... SHE LOVED THEM! Just loved them! She can't keep the jewelry but it is here for when she gets home. People send her quotes & letters & things to hang up in her room- nice.

We had so much fun eating lunch & going through these things and- just being together.

When Megan was just a tiny baby- we lived less than a block from this little drive in, Stan's. We were very poor college students. Every Monday Brett would head over there with our leftover change and wait in a very long line. Monday nights they had 1/2 price ice cream... good memories.

We headed to Target- then the mall

And found lots of cute things on sale for school etc. 

It was such a GREAT day. Really, really good day.

Brett & Trent came down & met us- Plus these two cuties for dinner!

Are they cute or what?!

This is Jack's sweetheart Emily. 

THEN

it happened.

All Hell Broke Loose

-oh boy-

The restaurant was crowded, Trent was overly excited, there were so many choices on the menu, he started throwing baby fits. Then the baby fits got bigger.

 Chloe started to tic. I started getting upset, Brett was calm.

I was so very embarrassed with Jack's girlfriend there. (So embarrassed, really.)

 Then it escalated to the point Brett had to take him out to the car and go home.

 sigh- it's been a long time- since we've had an episode like this. 

I apologized to the waitress & servers & Emily & tried to blame the autism, teenage hormones, whatever? 

It was rough.

(we both got new shoes)

We finished up our dinner & headed to a different mall- crazy I know!?

We only had one hour - so we had to make it quick.

While Chloe was mesmerized by the make up counter, I headed upstairs in JCPenney.

I went up the escalator & gasped out loud (for real) as I walked in on this display!

It's been YEARS since I've been in a JCPenneys- I was so impressed!

Chloe tried on lots of make up- she loves it & for sure doesn't need it.

 Isn't that how it goes, when your young & don't need it you always want to wear it... now I need it & I sometimes forget to even put it on! I don't want to - but now & then I go out in public & there I am-

 one eye with mascara on the other forgotten-- and I think Trent can be embarrassing!?

Then it was time.

 I dropped her off. Again.

And started my long, one hour, cry fest-- home.

Back to the house that I love.

I love it much more with my sweet Chloe in it.

It's really not the house, but the people who live in it & have grown up in it.

I don't write much about her illness because it is intensely private. I don't want to make anything harder for her than it already is. I love her. I love all of my children & never want them to suffer.

Thank you for praying for her & us.

I love it when people tell me their children pray for her.

 Those are my happiest moments, knowing that children pray for her. 

How could Heavenly Father not hear the prayer of a child? 

Speaking of children 

Here are a couple of cuties and an announcement - if you haven't already heard.

 (Finn in front- Crew in back)

Dear Heavenly Father -

Please bless the children & the grandchildren- all five of them!

what's up?

The twins sleeping at night- 

nope- they are not even close to sleeping through the night!

Soon... we hope for Laura & Brian's sake.

It was record warm here last Thursday & Friday!

73 degrees

So warm-- Chloe got SUNBURNED during an outdoor activity at school!

Can you believe this?

Saturday night Hailey performed at a benefit concert to help raise funds for a local arts foundation.

It was so fun to see her perform & she looks so pretty!

 Megan sent me this darling photo of Joey-

who got my postcard in the mail!

I send lots of good mail, especially postcards to the boys. 

It's so fun for me & them.

Finn in action:

Crew in action:

These twinners are really starting to look more alike.

They made their first trip to our house on Sunday for Uncle Jack's Birthday Dinner.

Woo Hoo- twins out of the house!

They are one month old already & as cute as can be.

I love to get pictures of them yawning. Oh I just love to take pictures of them.

Grandpa & Crew

***

Thank you for all your sweet comments this past month-

published & private.

It's been a hard winter with lots of health issues for my sweet Chloe.

I'm happy to say she is getting better & better. 

These things take time- and time is what we've got.

Thank you for your prayers & thoughtfulness.

 We have really needed them & that is a hard place to be in.

 I am so grateful for so much kindness. It's not easy- but what else can you do? 

I don't know why she/we have to go through this, but we do and it's not cool. It's not fun and it's not comfortable. It is what it is & we are making the best of it. 

Life it Goes On

our first ice storm

Where Megan lives- Ice Storms are not uncommon.

But--- at our house-- They Are!

It's been a frigid winter & here is more proof

(up close-- ice covered car)

On this morning- Brett needed to be at the airport for a day trip to Vegas. I took him at about 5:45 AM. On my drive home from the airport-- about 6:15 AM- the ice storm hit. 

It was white knuckle driving, to say the least. The freeway speeds slowed to 30 MPH. Cars were off the road & I was just a little nervous. I MADE it home & then-- 

I was determined to pick up Chloe. 

She was to be discharged at 10:00.

 I didn't care if I had to crawl all the way to the University of Utah- I was picking her up & bringing her home! It only took me an extra 1/2 hour to get there. The ice wasn't as bad.

 

We got home alright-

but then I couldn't get the car up the ice covered driveway-

then we couldn't get ourselves up the ice covered driveway!!

Chloe finally decided to climb through the snow.

The soft snow was covered with crunchy ice. It was like creme brulee- that's what we called it.

A crunchy coating on the soft snow.

Thank you so much to all of you who have been praying for Chloe. 

And double thanks for those who have fasted & put her name into the temple.

Thanks for the good mail packages & cards. 

Thanks for the anonymous packages dropped on our door.

Everyone around us has been so kind & generous to our family.

Chloe has had an extreme increase in Tourettes tics which has increased her OCD & affected her mood & overall anxiety. She spent 10 days in a treatment program in the hospital. She is now in an out patient program & working with new meds & a lot of therapy. It's been a very emotional month for all of us. I can't even imagine how much for her!? Through it all she remains our sweet Chloe. I adore her. She is amazing. She has decided to beat this- and someday-- become a motivational speaker.

 If anyone can do it- she can!