a birthday post-

Last week was my 47th birthday!

I hate to be all downer about it....

but I am kind of a big fat baby when it comes to my birthday.

I anticipate it for at least a week, usually longer.

 I get all weepy & start feeling sorry for myself. 

Next- I wonder why I am alive in the first place & if anyone loves me or ever has?

I imagine the worst possible thing happening... nobody remembering me.

 I contemplate it for days & wonder if I should go away on a trip so I won't be so disappointed and

 regret all of my life choices thus far.... 

I really do all of this.

every. year.

I feel so bad for my sweet husband.

 He has to live through this year- after year- after year.

It's ridiculous- I'm not proud- It's ugly- I'm starting therapy next month

(just keepin' it real.)

Maybe by now you have guessed that I have had a few rough birthdays?

WELL NOt This YEAR BabY!

Balloons on my mailbox- who did that?

 I want to kiss your face.

 I cried.

My mom called me first thing in the morning & let me pick out two books on Amazon that she sent out that day. I love them- they are here. Thanks mom. I love that you did that.

Karen & I went to lunch- I picked this place & it was wonderful & I love Karen.

 Thank you so much!

I came home to a present in the mail!

 Jill- you amaze me with your thoughtfulness & creativity!

Thank you!

Lisa left this on my doorstep & she didn't even have to do that?!

The "blogger moms" are having a real birthday party for me this week-

 lots of them were out of town last week.

Then- I was so lucky to get to meet up with ALL OF THESE CUTIES for a dinner I didn't even make!

I LOVED MY BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR

Pre-dinner show of cuteness brought to you by:

Joey & Finn above- Charlie & Crew below

Peter was just plain cute. period.

We ate at probably my favorite place to eat downtown.

Did I mention it was such a great day?

 I even had help blowing out the candle on my dessert!

After dinner the kids & Brett were so great to give me all of these thoughtful gifts.

Tears, more tears-- such very thoughtful gifts- really.

The kids made a list of 47 things they love about mom...

 I read it out loud. 

Brett made me a list of the: Top Ten Reasons He is Glad He Married me

The kids read them out loud.

And I needed it.

I really did.

It's been a hard year of doubt, worry, weight gain, wondering if it is all my fault, asking myself over & over & over if I was good enough? If any of my life was good enough? 

I don't write this for you to feel sad for me or even to prove that I'm a brat

 - because really my life is awesome-

 or for people to leave comments.

I just want anyone out there who is reading (especially my future self & children) that

 sometimes life is just hard like that.

 And- sometimes it stays hard for a good long while,

 so you press on, and on, then wonder if it's worth it? 

And the answer is:

YES

It is worth it

I am worth it and so are YOU.

5 for friday

1. Last Sunday's snow. 

2. Last Sunday's activity

3. Pinterest inspired good mail.

Box of sunshine for a friend who needs it.

4. I found a quarter on the sidewalk at the post office after I sent it- score!

5. Pinterest inspired dinner tonight-- delish.

Spicy Thai noodles-- YUM

This week... It's getting better.

maybe you didn't know

Maybe you didn't know:

One of the very best things about Women's Conference this year is that I got to meet IN PERSON one of my favorite people - Shannon- what a thrill! It was so very exciting for me! Oh I think we would be hanging out on a regular basis if we lived closer. She really cracks me up & honestly reminds me of myself a bit... except she is an amazing decorator/gardener... and I am an sniffling allergy mess in the garden. (it's not pretty)

Yesterday I came home from work- really sad-because our last creative day was canceled due to busy spring schedules & sick kids. I slooooowly walked into the house to find Brett home working - because he wasn't feeling well.

THEN- there on the counter - GOOD MAIL.

I felt loved. Thanks Shannon! You really made my day.Maybe you didn't know:

My sweet Charlie & his parents live in tornado alley. NOt good. Joplin- is only 60 miles from their house... oh those poor people. We have been watching the weather & I've been checking my weather channel app everyday. We/they are so blessed not to have had a tornado in their town... and I hope/pray they won't get one at all.

Maybe you also didn't know or realize:

they are expecting another baby boy...

SOON!

This time, I am extremely ill prepared. I have the fabric, but no baby blanket- aah! I will be working on that right away. I am so thrilled- just absolutely thrilled- to be a GRandma again.

hamburgers & hot pants

look at this!

NO REAllY...

look at this?!

this is going up... being built as I type... just .7 miles from my house.

I know - cause I clocked it last night.

NOw

Look at this...

The hot pants from Jill's carnival were at my birthday dinner.

Luckily, baby Owen was at my birthday dinner too (& not old enough to notice) so I could use him as a picture decoy & get a shot of this!

The really nice thing about hot pants is that when they walk by- butt cheeks peek out & say hello to everyone. It's just so lovely!

(the big ol' stack of good mail I sent yesterday)

NOw... QUESTION?

If I ran- like really sprinted - .7 miles

ate a burger- than ran back...

do you think I would have legs like that?

something special

Yesterday Hailey started a job teaching music-

to a darling girl who goes to her school- she has down syndrome.

(Did I ever mention that hailey wants to be a special education teacher?)

I went to pick hailey up after work & it took a little longer than expected....

on my way home Brian called to tell me something special was on the doorstep for me.

our conversation went something like this:

~

me worried- what do you mean something special? is this a good thing?

bri- well, you'll have to see when you get home.

me- does it contain dog poop..... is it on fire?

bri- what? why would you say that?

(let's just say, brian is frequently sarcastic)

~

I came home to find this!

WOW

can you believe this?
No surprise, I was moved to tears...

Later one of the boys came by to make sure I got it & to tell me it was an early birthday present since the other boy couldn't be there on the real day

--aaah-- sigh--

I gave him one big ol' hug!

Later his mom told me they really wanted to do this,

but then didn't want to/know how to- put the poster together so sister & a cousin helped.

Thus the phrase

"with as much love as the world can hold & more"

which was entirely embarrassing to two 10 year old boys- but they brought it anyway

~

NOw WhO DoesN't WAnt tO Be A ScouT LEadER?

Gosh I love these boys!

As I got into bed last night, I mentally went over my day.

I remembered how earlier in the afternoon I had gotten a sad phone call. I was feeling anxious. I had immediately sad a prayer for the person who had called & for myself- to help me. Not long after Megan called- it was so good to visit with her- definitely an answer to prayer. Then- laying there in bed, it hit me- like a ton of bricks- my Father in Heaven loves me and he knows me & he knows my love language. This gift from these boys was another answer to prayer. It dawned on me that they were probably working on it as I said that prayer. All my worries had melted away when I saw this poster. I know they were inspired this day & I thank their mothers, because surely they were a part of that inspiration.

After I said my prayers- I debated writing about this experience all night.

For some reason I feel compelled to, it is intensely private for me.

I hope if you feel a little prompting to do something for someone today

that you will.

You- never know?

you could be an angel.

Surely, something special came for me yesterday!

an update: missionary jack style

Missionary Jack writes every Wednesday.

His emails are a highlight for the whole family.

I anxiously get up every Wednesday morning & start clicking on my email inbox- over & over & over throughout the day- until Brett calls & says- Jack emailed!

(I never click at just the right time.. but I won't quit trying!)

You may not know-

but last month there was severe flooding in the State of Alagoa, Brazil. They received a months worth of rain in two days!

Very scary & very quick rising water. Many people lost their homes & even more sadly those homes were in the poorest areas. Last week our R.S. President called to say (her daughter is married to jack's mission president's son) that President Beynon had emailed an article with photos about some service the missionaries were doing.

SQUEAL OF DELIGHT!!!

We quickly got on the computer & she forwarded the article to us.

Pictures of the missionary working- helping- serving.

All the things he went to Brazil to do.

He wrote & said it is hard some days (surely this was one of those days) but that he loves it.

This team of members & missionaries are helping a community of flood victims clean out a school for temporary housing. I can't even imagine- it makes me shudder to think of it.

I asked jack if it "smelled" he said-
ya.
There was debris & garbage up to the rafters in the school so you know that flood water (mixed with you know what?) was high. This week he wrote of teaching the gospel to 3 young men who are scheduled for baptism tomorrow. Of taking an old train to a park that was really a jungle & looking for alligators (ya they found some little guys) while humming the Indiana Jones theme song. Last week- he wrote of all the people (especially in the flood areas) staring at his tallness & red hair. Of kids dropping what they are doing to run & get their parents to see the red headed new guy in town. Of kids riding their beat up old bikes through town with little monkeys on their shoulders. He mentioned that whole families (whole families?) ride on one bike to get places. He nicked name the bike- Brazil's suburban- and said he will have to get a bike when he starts a family- who needs cars? He said the food is good- no one sleeps with blankets- he hasn't been cold once since he left & doesn't even know if you can buy a blanket anywhere.
wow
I'm so proud of my missionary
and again
so happy to be the mother of a servant of the Lord.
we love you missionary jack!

good mail

I thought I had nothing to blog about today...

Then I went to get the mail- WOOOO HOOOO

Good Mail from Shannon!!!

MARSHMELLOW FLUFF- STRAWBERRY EVEN
i had NO idea they make strawberry fluff?

It's true- happiness can come in the mail!

thanks shannon for totally, completely making my day!!

where have I been?......

Missed my post today... wondering what the heck is goin' on?

I'll tell you what's goin' on... I went to the doctor & he told me-

I could slowly stop using the crutches & start walking on the boot- well- you know what that meant? I haven't used the crutches since about one our after that!!!

wooo hoooo I'm free. Yesterday Wende & I went to visit Megan, (the very happily married newlywed- she's just so stinkin cute) shopping & to lunch. (Just think of all the money we've saved having me stuck on the couch for almost two weeks!?) Part of the time wende pushed me in a wheel chair- ya I can't walk all over the place yet- (and NO sir I do not want to re injure myself. )It was quite the comical scene, I'm sure- watching us. Me with Ethan on my lap & bags. Her pushing the chair. Every now & then I would drop something then we'd have to stop & pick it up. It was worth it though & a really great day. (Thanks for pushing me around Wende)

In the mean time

look what arrived at my house!?

Well rub my head with jelly & lay me in an ant field -

It's a Package!

- my sister sent me a package-

thanks Ruthie!! You made my day.

Also- I made this amazing discovery- those jazzy carts you see at the store (I've been too prideful to want to use one)- I tried one & dang! Those babies are so fun. So tomorrow I'm taking Trent to target just to ride around. I've decided I may need to keep this boot just for jazzy privileges-

Fun Times!!

Well- besides that & limping around the house trying to catch up, that's what I've been doing.

NOw

*what are you up to?

*yesterday I got 71 hits & 6 comments???

*what the heck- I know at least 60 hits were from my mom ... but people throw me a bone- leave me a comment... or are you just sick of all the self centered broken ankle talk?? my bad-

gimping around

{Okay- I've tried to write this post twice & something is up with blogger- here I go again.}

It's been a slow week of sitting around the house. I had only left the house twice 1. my doctor's appointment 2. arctic circle drive thru .... until yesterday. Blogger moms kristy & karrie came over & picked me up to go to our "therapeutic Thursday" at janae's where we worked on projects & ate lunch- including Kristy's amazing artichoke dip (get the recipe here). I tell you what- It was so great to get out of the house!! I worked on cards & guess what I went up & down 4 stairs- I know, I know- Impressive. That therapy girl who made me learn stairs at the doctor's office, I guess she knew what she was doing.... Look what came in the mail!!!

Woo Hoo Fantastic Good Mail from Jill! Look how cute this package is-

And can you believe these cards? She is so for sure the GOOD MAIL QUEEN!

thank you jill- you have no idea how much you brightened my day :) Well I was feeling all adventurous & went with Brett to pick up my car- that's been in the shop- perfect timing to get some warrantied work done & guess what? I DROVE- then we went to Costco to get some milk... and guess what... they were out of those carts that drive around. Darn it- Brett offered to push me on a flat bed cart, that guy is always thinkin'. I declined. Instead I gimped around on crutches. My armpits will never be the same. When I got home, my foot was all swollen again- so ya, I over did it a little.

anyhow- it's been a good couple of days & I am feeling so much better.
today I had a little PTA meeting
I made dinner (with help)
I did some dishes
folded some clothes

real life it feels good

i'm so lucky- my life rocks

This morning my friend Lori called & asked how I was doing- great! everything is going smooth, there is only one thing I didn't get done for the wedding & that's okay. She asked me what didn't you get done. I explained that I wanted to make little coloring books for the kids coming to the wedding. It's such a long day for kids. She said no problem, called me a couple of hours later... her & sky had gotten together & put together this...

It's perfect!

Two days ago the door bell rang, no one was there but a darling little package was at the door.

A wedding survival package from my fellow blogger mom Karrie. I was so amazed. It was filled with things that will help on the wedding day too! Yesterday this showed up at the door...

Another kit from Kristy-- oh my goodness!

Then- this afternoon look what else showed up on my door from Sky!!

CAn you believe this? My friends are the BEST- everyone of them.
Linda, karen & sky put together showers for megan.

Karen dropped off dinner at my house last week.

The coloring books.

I got good mail from Jill & Holly.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

And look- Brian will be at the wedding!?

What more can a blogger girl ask for?

Thank you for all your warm well wishes & love to me & my family.

Tomorrow is going to be a GREAT day!

great good mail

It's been much too long since I posted any good mail. I hope I didn't forget anyone. Getting good mail is such a treat. Forgive me if I did forget you... please oh please!

Wende- sent me this great dvd, her personal favorite for exercise & an encouraging note- knowing about my diet. okay, okay I haven't used it yet... but I'm gonna... really I am!! I'm serious, I will... stop nagging me blogasphere, gosh~

I got this amazing card from Amanda :). It was so cool to get a letter all the way from her house! It even had a great stamp and UK flag on it. I loved it- what a treat!!!

I swear at least a month ago Becky sent me note thanking me for the birthday card I sent her. So sweet & completely unnecessary but wonderful. I have had it on my counter all month.

Karrie sent me some sand from her trip to Mexico! She sent it in Mexico & it took a month to get here. It's beautiful white sand with little white shells in it. It looks great on my bathroom window seal with my other bottles of sand, in my sand collection.

Upon hearing of all the good mail I have been sending, Jill sent me more good mail labels!

These are even cuter than the last ones I ordered- if you can believe that. I love them.

Good mail- I love it. Life changing, trust me. Make some one's day & send a note. You won't believe how great it makes you & the recipient feel. One of the most amazing thing about good mail is eventually it comes... back to you.

You really have to try it.