today is my birthday

Warning: this post may contain my own irrational rantings & emotions.

If you will be upset by them-

if you will call my mother or mother in law about this-

please turn back now. You are not really welcome here.

It is MY birthday & I will cry if I want to.

the end.

Happy Birthday to me

Today I am 42!!

(balloons placed on my doorstep by some wonderful person whom I love with all my heart. I really don't know who it was- but I am so touched & feel so loved, thank you)

I really cannot believe I am forty two...?
Who ever thinks they are going to be forty two...?
I'm not upset by this- it just seems surreal, strange, & weird.
Life is surely at least nearly half way over for me.

This is on my mailbox today!
~I LOVE IT~
Photo by trent-
I didn't want to be arrested for going outside in my pj's without a bra... at least that's what I told trent so he would take the photo ;)
I was so delighted to see it there!!
surely there will be good mail in this box today...
If you don't already know it-
I have birthday anticipation issues.
It's true.
It's ugly.
I don't know why- well I do, somewhat, but I am not willing to share all of the details here- it's not pretty & not characteristic of me. Or at least I like to think it is not characteristic of me.
Anyhow....
because my sweet husband could see that I was getting even worse than usual-
he brought me my birthday present a little early last night!
That's right baby- my own beach comber Schwinn in baby blue!!
I am in love
with both of them.

In honor of my new ride & my looming day
we rode down to my favorite restaurant for dinner.

It was a BLast- in unthinkably perfect, July 80 degree weather.

(real summer comes this weekend with temps reaching 100+)

If every summer had weather this perfect- more people would want to live here.

(another photo by t)

We sat on the porch until way after dark & discussed my need for birthday recognition, my fears of being forgotten, why we do the things we do, why we don't do the things we don't do... it was healing for me to just talk & for him to just listen.
Thank you sweetheart for being there for me.

listening & not fixing

I needed that & today I am feeling a lot better.

Now I am going to go put a bra on so trent & I can ride around the neighborhood before it gets too hot & before the blogger moms come to pick me up for a birthday lunch!!