mt. timpanogas cave

My husband loves to hike.

I don't.

But, I'm a pretty good sport.

For 13 years we have lived here in the great state of Utah...

and we have always said-- we were going to hike up to the Mt. Timpanogas cave, but haven't gotten around to it. In honor of living a "more meaningful life,"we decided to go Friday morning.
Brett took the day off work, we packed a lunch & headed out early. The tickets to the cave sell out early, so the internet says... plus it was going to be a hot day. Everyone needed a jacket- it's only 43 degrees year round in the cave & the tour of the cave lasts about an hour. Most of us preferred to tie a jacket around our waist... others wore theirs with the hood on, the whole entire trip just to annoy the heck out of their mothers-geez louiz, child?

Before leaving Brett searched the internet for a cub scout patch to earn at Mt. Timpanogas National Monument- no luck- but when we got there to get tickets we asked & sure enough-- there was a patch. On the list of requirements it said the scout needed to watch the 17 minute movie about the monument before leaving on the hike- so we did--
and this is where I should have stopped myself...
Watching the informative little movie got me thinking.
Hmm-- 1 1/2 mile hike, 1065 ft. up...
to a cave...?
That little voice inside me said, "I'm not sure this trip is for you?"
I didn't want to spook the kids,
I knew Brett was really excited about this hike...
I didn't say a word.

We found a delightful little picnic spot across the road & ate our lunch. Trent picked up some garbage as part of the patch earning process. It was stunningly beautiful!
The smell of the pine trees was intoxicating & reminded me of the many camping days of my youth. I loved, loved, loved camping as a girl in the mountains of WA state! Loved it.
This was going to be fun!

We started up the trail with many other families. Families with little kids running up the trail with enthusiasm, moms with babies in backpacks (so cute.) I said to Brett- I should bring all of my scouts here! What a great trip! What a great patch! We were amazed & couldn't believe we hadn't been here before this- what a shame- 13 years & we hadn't hiked this trail yet?!

It was a little steep, but so beautiful, not hot yet & it was just great to be out together.

Then
it started.
To get steep.

I learned something about myself - fast-
I don't like kids. running. near. cliffs.
I don't like me. being. near. cliffs. at. all.
or hiking. or being outside. or nature that has to do with views from up really high.

signs like this one-
did not make me feel any better.

I started saying things like,
"DON'T WALK NEXT TO THE EDGE."
"STAY TO THE LEFT"
I started sweating- profusely.
My heart was pounding.
It left it's regular spot in my chest & settled in my throat.
I was getting dizzy.

"Look at that view of the valley!" brett kept saying...
"isn't this gorgeous," brett kept saying... then
"we can walk slower, do you need a drink of water?"
"kids, let's stop & let mom rest for a bit."
I wasn't doing too good.
Not to worry--- we had been walking forever, maybe we were getting close?
or maybe we had been walking for 15 minutes & were only 1/4 of the way up- that was it.


Even though we were walking up hill-
I was going down hill... mentally & physically.
I made it a little over 1/2 way up. I really wanted to go, but it wasn't going to happen.
I could tell that Brett was disappointed with me, but didn't want to be. He married a wimp. Those other families with their little ones walking, running & laughing up a steep mountain... were making me insane. CHILDREN SHOULD NOT WALK NEAR CLIFFS - ESPECIALLY AHEAD OF THEIR PARENTS ALONE. I felt very strongly about this & found myself having to look away when others were near us. I started clinging to the side of the mountain & then hyperventilating. I stopped taking photos. As we turned a corner I looked up- way up- and there were people still walking the trail.
I started to cry.
I could hardly breath.
I thought I might throw up.
It was over.
The rest of the family went on without me.
I sat on a bench for what felt like a long time.
I wondered if I should try to catch up? no.
I started down the mountain & knew I had made the right decision. If walking up the mountain was a scary view... just think about how scared I was walking down- it was a much more vivid view of DOWNness. I clung next to the mountain wall as I shuffled down. As people came near me I tried to appear normal & sane & not to breath too heavy. Someone asked me if I liked the cave?- they must have assumed- I made it & was on my way down.
"oh ya- it's great." I kept slithering down & met a park ranger. He told me- (in between asking me if I was okay) that cave made him claustrophobic... so his favorite thing to do was to walk the trail- ya I made the right choice. What was I thinking? I am so claustrophobic- SERIOUSLy what was I thinking? I guess I was thinking there would be railings & a big huge cave room that you would walk into, look around & leave. Nope.
I kept telling myself- I'm good at lots of things... really I am. I'm not an idiot, no, not at all.
It wasn't my best day.

here are some of the photos from the cave.

THEY made it!

They loved it!

After leaving the cave Trent signed the book- therefore ensuring he earned the patch.

It was beautiful, tight at times & so cool inside!

The breathtaking view on the way back down.

they even saw a baby squirrel.

Awe, nature...

it's a glorious thing.

Trent will be receiving the Utah National Monument Patch at the next pack meeting.

I will not be returning with the other Bear scouts, or ever for that matter. I did calm down before they made it down a couple of hours later. Luckily the snack bar had diet pepsi - that'll do in an emergency- I brought a book. It took about an hour, but I calmed down & was so happy to see them when they got back about 2 1/2 hours later.

We were all exhausted.

I learned a lot about myself this day.

Some things are good to know.

I mean about myself.

So- you know- I don't do that kind of thing... again. EVer....