Tuesday, August 5, 2008

party

The outdoor neighborhood birthday party was great fun!
Families came & we served cake, ice cream & ice cream cones.
I didn't take very good pictures... I was too busy scooping up ice cream & trying to keep track of the birthday boy, who never sat down, didn't watch the movie & continually walked in front of the screen-- annoying mostly his parents.

It's hard to see from this picture but the movie showed up GREAT on my neighbors garage door! The kids loved it- it was better than a drive in!

This was a great summer party idea Movie in the Cul-da-sac. so many people came & showed trent how much they love him. he is not good in these situations so he mostly acted rude while we had him go back & re-do & do over. Such as "say thank you- look him in the eyes... don't walk away she's talking to you" those kind of things. This is a real struggle. I can see how people shy away/don't like asperger's kids. Trent just doesn't get it- but we are working on it. At one point he was on his bike & was "pushing" a little kid on a tricycle. The little kid who is three came over to me & said- he's being mean to me! I replied- yes he is, Trent why are you pushing him with your bike? He just wanted to help move him along... you see instead of saying or truly acting like he wants to play with the kid he does something annoying to try to get his attention. Some days I think he is learning- but this wasn't one of them. between the crowd, all the attention, it was night time, etc. he was a little (a lot) overwhelmed. Even so, he has to learn & these kinds of situations although uncomfortable- are really good for him.

I'm not sure they are good for me.

Maybe my expectations are too high- maybe he wasn't that bad- maybe I shouldn't take it so rough- maybe he will never have manners or friends-darn aspergers... is school starting soon?

18 comments:

Unknown said...

oh, i can only imagine how challenging this can be. i *only* have to cope with ADHD (with the focus on HYPERACTIVITY.) there are times when i feel really stretched as a parent.

now, i love the idea of showing a movie on the garage door! i have the perfect double white garge door - i will definitele be doing this one day soon!

Anonymous said...

aspergers? what is it? i didn't even know!

Unknown said...

The last comment is from me, but I couldn't get it to work right...I'll learn!

patsy said...

I added a link on my sidebar about asperger's- you can check it out!

Unknown said...

techno-challenged me here:

i am thinking you used a projector and laptop to show the movie? how was the sound?? did i mention, i am TOTALLY going to do this?!?

wende said...

it's always worse for the parent of the child when the child isn't having a good day. other people are way more tolerant of other people's kids' behavior than you think. he will be fine, because he is the best family. when you're stretched to thin, send him over, i'm serious, ethan LOVES trent, and so do we!

Janae said...

Happy Birthday Trent! It looks like you guys have had some fun celebrating going on:) That Strawberry pie looked way yummo!
I loved you 11 things about Trent. He is a fun boy:)
I agree with Wende and other parents are always more tolerant when it's not their child...it's just hard for us mom's when it is our child. He is learning and he is so blessed to have you for his mom:)

Kristy said...

I am glad the night was some what successful. I am sure not a lot of people noticed what Trent was doing or not doing....us Moms notice everything! I am glad that you had a great turn out.

Karolynn said...

Hailey told me about your blog, I hope you don't mind. Carter is just like Trent in situations. He does the same type of things to get kids attention. Carter was diagnosed with Autism last October, but I am starting to feel that is more on the asperger's side, I need to get him reevaluated. It is soooo hard! If you ever need to talk about things give me a call! Looks like a special birthday party! You have a beautiful family and of course I adore Hailey!

Jill said...

I think it's funny that one of your labels for this post is "A Big Part of My Life". Stuff like this must be a daily struggle/effort for you but most of us wouldn't think about that unless you wrote about it. I think it's great that you do because it's real and it's a part of your family's experience. You're great Patsy!

Karrie said...

I'm with Wende and Janae...you're more aware of Trent's behavior than other people are...he is a good kid and you're doing a good job with him...he had a great day with us at the pool...look at how brave he got!

Cecilia said...

Thanks for the post and for the link! I want to read all about it!

Did I mention that I really admire you???

You are on my list of Super Heroes!!!

Unknown said...

yes, you can add me to your side post.

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

I'm so glad for your insights into Asperger's, Patsy. It's good to hear an upclose and personal mother's experience.

What a great idea to include the whole neighborhood. You're great to run with his plans and ideas.

Beth said...

So inspired to include your neighbors in his special day!

These are his extended family that watch out for him and love him... that he goes to and is secretly involved in helping to build things at their houses when you aren't looking.

What a great fun idea to have them together in such a fun way.

I bet his parents were probably the only ones worried about how he was acting or not acting. For real! I am guessing they have a different kind of tolerance than you do for this kid, in these situations. We miss him, but are so happy to be reading about his growth and experiences on your blog.

Real life experiences, we all have them. But you are an amazing example in how you deal and cope with them! Your both great parents!

Love you!

Maine Mom said...

I love the movie on the garage door idea! Looks like a fun outdoor party!
I agree with the other moms, I'm sure you noticed more unacceptable behavior than anyone else did. From what I'm reading, it sounds like Trent is blessed to have a great family and lots of friends nearby to love him. :-)

Tiffany said...

Trent is such a great kid and Carston loves him to death. He is so good at my house and we love to have him around. You are such a great mom and I am so glad we are friends and neighbors!
P.S. Keep up the great movie parties, they are so fun!

michelle said...

What? I thought I already commented on this post!

First of all, I love it so much that Trent wanted to invite all of the neighbors AND that you went ahead and did it! Awesome.

Secondly, I am positive that Trent was sent to your family for a reason. You are such a good mom, Patsy!