I haven't blogged in a whole week!
Where does the time go?
It's been a good but stressful week for me.
In my effort to be more honest..... here goes-
I don't like Christmas.
I try to like it- but I just don't.
I truly look forward to it being over every year.
I've been thinking a lot this week about, why I feel this way?
I guess thinking about it is part of my stress?
After much contemplation I don't think I can explain why- at least not in writing- without sounding stupid & frivolous ... but I'm going to try anyway.
Who knows- maybe putting it in writing will help, at least I hope it will?
So- I don't like Christmas because I am a gift person, and more of a perfectionist than I like to admit. I love giving gifts & I feel completely overwhelmed at the thought of so many gifts, and budgets etc. I feel overwhelmed that I will forget someone, that I won't, "get it right." Last night for family night I taught a lesson on the true meaning of Christmas.
It was about Heavenly Father's gift of His Son.
Of Christ's gift of His life, His example, His atonement. It all weighs so heavy on me. I want to teach my children- be the perfect gift giver- have a perfectly happy, holiday home.
I guess I just can't
do it all.
I hate it.
I hear people talk about how much they love the decorations etc.
It all looks like a mess around here. just messy & tacky.
I wanted to make quilts for several people in my family & didn't get them finished. I want to decorate cookies with the kids & invite other kids over to decorate cookies- but it's just a mess of boxes & wrapping paper & did I mention... it's a mess? Mess=stress.
I just can't keep up.
and I miss jack- and megan- and tony- and charlie
Then I had to work on Sunday.
Work on Sunday?
It really threw me off my already fragile mental state.
I now have two fever blisters.
But at least I'm blogging again, right?
5 comments:
I feel somewhat the same except I love the Christmas movies the Christmas Hymns and playing the chimes on the organ on Sunday to make it seem such a special time. I like the Christmas parties (if I don't have to do them). Forget the presents I just like the thought that goes into them not what they cost. Now that the little kids are gone from home it's a lonely time of year. I feel sad this time of year. So, I guess you come by it honestly. Love ya, pad
I am not a Christmas person at all. I am not a good gift giver and have a limited amount of money. If Christmas had no gifts it would be amazing for me...
Hang in there! Love ya! :)
hey girl! Don't sweat the "small" stuff! Christmas at our house is very very small, with the economy the last couple of years! We just make it more about being together...I will be honest. Jeremy wasn't thrilled. But, he survived! And now we just hang out togher! It is really nice...lowered expectations. GREAT feeling! I am sure because I have seen...you do a fabulous job. This is a very overwhelming time of year and working, use it as a release! I love you dear friend! ENJOY YOUR TIME!!! We all know it goes to fast!!!!
The title of this post made me smile and feel sad at the same time.
Our bishop came into Relief Society yesterday and talked to the sisters about Christmas. He admonished us not to go crazy. He wanted to make sure we are not making ourselves sick with trying to make everything perfect. But most importantly, he wanted us to make sure that we did not drive the spirit out of our homes in our quest to make everything just right. It should be a happy time, a together time, a time of focusing on the things that really matter. He said he hopes that on Christmas day, we can look around and feel a great sense of satisfaction in being a woman. A woman who has orchestrated a happy holiday for her family.
I just thought that was so interesting. I can fall victim to being totally stressed during the holidays if I'm not careful. I want things to be just right, I love making homemade gifts, I love having good food, etc. But after one particularly (self-imposed) stressful year, I decided I wasn't doing that any more. I didn't enjoy that Christmas, and I really really want to enjoy Christmas. I still wonder if I'm driving the spirit out of our home, however. I really don't want that! But when I get extra busy, I am not happy, and things fall by the wayside... I guess I still have a way to go!
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