emotional

It was a beautiful Christmas program at church today.

I usually sing in the choir every Christmas. But for the last two years I have sat out. I just know I can't. I'm much too emotional. Christmas brings out so many feelings in me that I find it almost painful & wishing it would be over. Knowing what Mary & Joseph did to bring the Christ child into the world is so humbling & powerful to me, it almost puts me over the edge. As soon as I sat down in the pew I looked up to see another family in the congregation whose grown children & grandchildren were visiting. Upon that sight I started to cry. The meeting hadn't even really started. I couldn't help but think of all the lonely people in the world. I was overwhelmed at the thought of loneliness this Christmas. I certainly don't feel lonely- but I have a very, very,very tiny glimpse of how painful it would be, especially at Christmas time. I didn't stop crying until half way through the service. I fought the urge to go home. My thoughts went back to 5-6 years ago. Brett & I were to dinner with all our shopping/Christmas lists in hand- ready to organize. I found myself anticipating this very day. The day when we would be losing our children to adulthood one by one. It's a glorious thing to be a mother, but if you're good at it- you work yourself right out of a job. I knew even back then- I wouldn't handle it well. Brett reminded me we had 6 rambuncious children at home... I was being ridiculous & should mourn their leaving when they actually left. (If you are thinking I am crazy right now- call me when your kids start leaving- then tell me if you still think I'm crazy?)

I decided I needed to pull myself together. For heaven's sake- I am so blessed. I am surrounded by blessings. Health, strength, four beautiful children at home- two resposible children grown that I am so proud of ... seriously. So I pulled an idea out of my blogger's head from Jill & started to take notes. Thank you Jill. This was remarkable. I heard the message, and now I even remember it.

*It is by giving not getting that we feel the true spirit of Christmas

*A testimony of Christ or of the gospel never stands still. It is either growing or diminishing.

*Christmas is a time of good will to all men~ friends, strangers, even enemies.

*It is a selfish act to not partake of Christ's healing atonement.

*All year, any time, Christ is available & accessible.

I am grateful for this Christmas season.

I am grateful I am home with family.

I am so grateful for my knowledge of Christ, for His birth, for His sacrifice, for His example.