Monday, November 28, 2011

thankful for my missionary

Last week I got my usual Monday email from missionary Jack.
It was unusual- it was special. I had a hard time reading it through my tears.
Missionaries frequently go through experiences they deem inappropriate (too scary) to tell their mothers- and this email included one of those stories.
I would like to share this story today- as inspiration. It has inspired me. I have trials- just like everyone else. The really hard ones I don't share on this blog. This trial of my son Jack- was a great reminder that it's through trials that we learn the most- something I too easily forget.

My mission has taught me a lot about gratitude and about being thankful. I have learned how much the Lord has given to me. I am going to share a story today that I didn't send last year. I figured it is one of those stories that is much more interesting & better told after it is over. A year ago today, the Monday before thanksgiving, I was packing up my suit cases because I was being transferred from Gurgui. I was transferred to Jatuica right down by the Beach in Maceio. However I was starting to get sick. Now I won't lie in this email, I had been sick fro months with worms & figured the little guys were probably just doing a little bit of rough housing. My companion and I were opening the area so, feeling well or not, we had to go out & work to get to know the area. My health went quickly form bad to worse. I started having paralyzing head aches & by the time we got to the house at night I would walk in , fall on my bed in my clothes, and wouldn't move until morning. Wednesday I ate little at lunch, not being able to stomach much. By Wednesday night I had thrown up everything and was starting to get really, really sick.
We we arrive on thanksgiving 2010. I spent the day lying on my bed soaking threw the sheets with sweat. I had Dengue Fever. I knew I had it. My trainer had told me if you are ever lying on your bed, so sick you think you are going to die, you will know. Those words turned out to be prophetic. I passed the whole day reading until the head ache became too bad, then I would start listing off all the things I was thankful for. It being Thanksgiving, I couldn't let the day pass without a grateful attitude. I couldn't eat. I would sit up & drink a mouth full of water & then lay down & use all the determination in my body to not throw it up, failing many times. I called my mission President's wife but she too thought maybe it was just rowdy worms. There is not much you can do for Dengue Fever after all. Well, the next day turned out to be 'Ground Hog Day' (he is making reference to the movie- one of our family favorites) I went through the same process. Reading a little, drinking a sip of water, lying back down, and trying not to throw up, and the list of blessing continued. I woulds start the list over from the beginning and then try to add a handful of new things every time. After 48 hours, seeing as I couldn't sleep much with the frequent bathroom visits, my list really started to grow.
Saturday came & after 72 hours without food and with about a half-liter of water I started to get worried. Sister Beynon (the mission president's wife) finally told me to go to the emergency room at about lunch time. I arrived there & when I finally was attended to they took me into a back room to hook me up to an IV. I passed out on the way to the bed waking up when the first bag from the IV ran out. I stayed there all day, but had finally reached the exhausted point & kept sleeping. The doctor came in that night & told me I was good to go, though I didn't feel that way. After arguing with him for a while he told me there was nothing more they could do. I left & called Sister Beynon. I remember sitting in that lobby, putting my face in my hands & feeling like it was over. I wasn't going to make it. I threw up in the emergency room bathroom on the way out and we headed home. I walked into our house, and went straight to my bed. My knees hit the ground & I said one of the quickest but most sincere prayers I ever had. I said I was grateful for my list. I said I was grateful that my list of blessings had kept me going. I said I sure hoped to wake up alright in the morning. I closed my prayer & rolled into bed.
I woke up that night. It was about three in the morning. I threw up all the liquid they had pumped me full of but then I just felt so hungry. I had gone well over 80 hours without any food. What happened next was one of the most interesting experiences in my mission. I heard the spirit say  'go to the table, You will find an apple there.' I made my way to the table & sure enough found in the darkness an apple. I went out on our porch and sat in my favorite part in that house where you can look up at the sky and the wind is always strong. That apple is the best thing I have eaten in my whole life. I can still remember the taste. It was the sweetest most delicious thing I had ever eaten. It was as if I had picked the fruit right off the tree of life. I sat there & I went over my list of things that I was grateful for. I realized then & there that I still hadn't finished my list. The lord had blessed me so abundantly that I couldn't finish my list even after days. I remember feeling a deeper sense of gratitude come upon me.... That week was one of the most important weeks in my mission. It was one of the weeks that I learned the most. It was the best lesson on gratitude that I have ever received as I laid on my bed on Thanksgiving making a list of all that I was grateful for. That week has had a powerful impact on my whole mission. Since that moment I have felt many times that I could not keep going. I was tired or sick or frustrated. However, I have always remembered that the lord stayed with me that whole week. He supports me. He knows what we go through . When we stop to count our blessings we can make it through any difficult circumstance.




Let me just say that he is well now. These pictures are proof of that!
"We must be careful that we don't resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature." Elder Paul V. Johnson

6 comments:

Johnna said...

Elder Messer is looking Amazing! Going to finish with "True Grit!"

Love you sis, don't tell you often enough, you are amazing!

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm so glad you posted this. What a great lesson for all of us. Thank you.

michelle said...

This is so beautiful, Patsy. I am so glad you shared it, and that he could share it with you, now that it is safely behind him!

How wonderful that he is learning and growing so much, and teaching you. What a parenting payday!

audrey said...

K, so I'm definitely wiping away a few tears at the end of this! What a powerful lesson! Thank you so much for sharing--I really needed to read this today. Glad he's doing well!

Jill said...

Wow, what an amazing letter! I cannot even imagine how gratifying and humbling this must be to read as his mother! How glorious that he has such great perspective and testimony and that he felt grateful all through that horrendous experience!

Karolynn said...

I loved hearing this letter in your lesson. He is one strong young man. It makes me feel more grateful for what I have.