Monday, August 27, 2012

one full week

 It's been a week now-
since the first day of school for this guy!


 One of the hardest weeks I can remember in a long time.
I let it get to me.
I spent the summer worrying about a new school, so many changes, jr. high in general, leaving the comfort of the special ed. teachers we know so well. Trent is not your typical kid & definitely not your typical special ed. student, not to me anyway.
I was right. My worries came to life. I tried so hard to prevent it. I called & stopped in & visited & introduced Trent to his new teachers. We went into the special ed. office & tried to communicate what his & our needs were. To PLEASE prep his many teachers about his Aspergers & Tourrette syndrome, OCD etc. I know this all sounds really difficult- but it's not. It's about compassion.
Trent is such a sweetie really. He just has these- quirks. If you know about them it's not that big of a deal & they don't disrupt other kids. Kids are the best- 4 out of 5 times that there is a negative experience it's not from another kid- it's an ignorant adult. 
That's what happened.
A couple of ignorant adults, acted like ignorant adults & I am so disappointed in the whole human race. Okay, okay I do frequently over exaggerate, but still I just couldn't believe it.
 I just can't understand how adults can be so mean?
He was teased into a frenzy, (aspergers kids don't typically understand teasing) called stupid, asked to spell Gullible, told to shut up, stop it, move seats, leave class, staring- people constantly staring- oh gosh. I was so mad. SO MAD
 (p.s. he was not called stupid by a teacher- but yes it was an adult)
Believe it or not- one of his teachers had never ever heard of Tourette syndrome? 
I guess we are over saturated with it here- but still I was surprised that an educator? There are a couple other students at his new charter school with Tourette & many others with Aspergers - sigh.
It's all taken care of now.
I think- it's a new week.
lots of apologies & the special ed. team is very apologetic & frankly they are doing their best.
They have already all fallen for the kid- and I can tell that it's going to get better.


Big sigh.
I cried & cried & visited the school again. 
I blabbed my mouth off about it to anyone who would listen (while sobbing of course.)
I gave a presentation on Tourette syndrome to his math class- the kids were awesome, and now the special ed team has every thing (all paper work & explanations to the teachers- kind of like I asked them to do?) To be fair- these are fantastic ladies!! Just like all other educators- overworked, understaffed & trying their hardest.
Through it all - Trent is so happy.
He has hardly noticed it all. He was really stressed & uncomfortable of course, but he has totally forgotten &  thrilled to go to school- well maybe not thrilled, but he likes it. He loves the uniform, the 4 vending machines (serious OCD over the vending machines! but if he has a good day & turns in all assignments he gets some change for the machine.)
He loves having a locker! 9 different classes & teachers, air conditioning- lunch in the big gym. 
And
He is making friends.
He went there- only knowing one other student (girl in 9th grade) in the whole school.
TRENT YOU ARE SO BRAVE, SO KIND, SUCH A GREAT BOY.
I know it's hard.
I want so bad to take this away & make it all better.
But- I have learned so much this week.
I have learned that-- I can't always protect you. That YOU can do hard thing, but that you need practice at doing hard things. All these experiences will help you become a stronger, happier adult. 
Most of all- I learned that all of these experiences are harder on me than on you.
I'm so glad you are my boy.
all in all- if I could, I still would take it all away. 


4 comments:

Karolynn said...

one day at a time! Trent is amazing. There is truly something very special about that kid for sure. He makes me smile and is always so friendly to me. You are such amazing parents!

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Oh man, I'm going to remember this post. "I have learned that you need practice at doing hard things." You know, there is a whole year of wisdom in that. So often we forget that hard is good, but that it takes practice to do hard.

I hope this week is easier on you.

Murdlem said...

Patsy,
I am so sorry things went exactly as expected. I unfortunately
understand EXACTLY how you feel.

I have come to realize that apparently it is our job to teach.

It SUCKS! But it is what it is.

Keep your head up, It is not a mistake that you are Trent's mother!

Be proud that you are his advocate. What an incredible blessing
that Trent has such a great mom.

This week has made you stronger.
Thanks for sharing!
Ronnie

Unknown said...

love to you all! i'm glad to hear that the teams and teachers at the school welcome you with your explanations and presentations, and your compassion. <3