Disclaimer:
There are random photos in this post that pretty much have nothing to do with the written word.
(Sunday morning blocks- made for Johnny to knock over.)
There have been a lot of changes in our home this past year.
Most good- Some hard.
Which is really how our lives are here at our house~ Mostly good & Sometimes hard.
Frankly, I think that's how life is for most people.
Anyhow-
The biggest change has been that last winter, Chloe was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome.
I know-
For me it was like getting sucker punched in the gut. I should have seen it. As much as she tried to hide it- there were signs & I just didn't see it. I was it complete shock. I told the doctor he was wrong. But he wasn't. I tried to put on a brave face when the specialist brought her back in the room (ticking for the first time in front of me) - I knew she had to be in so much pain emotional & physical pain. She didn't want us to know- didn't want us to have any more worry. She has the social awareness that Trent doesn't have- to know how to hide it & hold it in until she was alone. I wanted her to know it was okay, it was going to be okay. But inside I felt like my Heavenly Father had completely cursed us-- and it wasn't okay. I was mad. I was really mad. Why would this beautiful, kind girl need this?
NOT Fair- not right- not my daughter.
(Brittany's birthday cake from Sunday's birthday dinner- YUM-)
So- she has Tourette Syndrome.
She has a 98% chance of growing out of it by the age 19.
tender mercy
It's okay- It's really okay
It took me over a month to even get the words out of my mouth.
Even longer to talk about it with out completely breaking down & bawling my eyes out.
I won't go into what her ticks are like- they are there, not always but mostly at night & definitely during times of stress. We have learned so much about stress, anxiety & the mind. She started some therapy for her anxiety. She takes meds. She was scared & is not now. She still hides it mostly- but never in front of her close friends who know all about it & are a GREAT support. She doesn't have to hide it- she just chooses to most of the time & that's okay. She is amazing-
(I picked up a HUGE bag of Garrett's famous popcorn in the Chicago airport last August on my way home from Megan's house-- ya it was GOOD)
I've mentioned here before that her feet have been in a lot of pain- and that has made ballet difficult/nearly impossible. Her teacher (once a professional ballerina) told her she had the talent, the body, the flexibility- but not the feet. Then she said- she would not be able to dance much longer-- at least not with out a lot of misery. We went to a podiatrist... who confirmed that. She took loads of ibuprofen, danced, then iced & put her feet up- three days a week. She came close to having her arches fall completely several times.
She was bound & determined to keep dancing. Unfortunately the stress from the pain on her feet brought out the worst in ticking & it was hard- and scary. She went on meds to help with the severity of it & sometimes would fall at dance and even at school. We ended up in the ER at Primary Children's hospital after dance one night from such severe ticking - they thought she was having a stroke.
We talked about -- not dancing-- last spring. It has to be her decision. We talked about change-- maybe taking Karate (she has always wanted to) or running cross country?
Quitting-- That was NOT an option in her mind.
Chloe made it through the summer wearing, "old lady shoes," with almost no ticking & hardly any foot pain.
Here we are - it's Fall.
Ballet started in August. The Ibuprofen, swelling followed by icing, all started up again and- then school started. Nutcracker auditions were on September 5th & she got two parts on point. Waltz & Snow.
We were all ready to go-
when she decided it was time.
Time to move on.
Time to play football & start dating & do more art. Time to try running & maybe a part time job? Time to move on & even though ballet has been & will always be a great love.
It is time.
So- I called the ballet company & her part was given to another dancer- can you imagine her excitement!?
And that is that.
No more ballet.
I am relieved. I am so happy she is not in pain & frankly I'm not bothered one bit by the fact I am not driving to the ballet studio 3-5 times a week. I am amazed at the courage & strength of my children. They have been an example to me- everyone of them.
(Megan & Tony with the boys at the jump ZOne this past weekend)
So there you have it.
After 13 years of ballet it is time for a change.
***
You can learn more about Tourette Syndrome here:
