six and holding

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

our henry

Henry

Born June 2017

Last June 17th a very special young man came into our lives.

Megan & Tony asked me to go to their home & watch Charlie, Joey & Peter while he was being born. It was so fun!

We played

a lot

and we hung out at McDonald's Play land- with ice cream.

We made Fourth of July T-shirts

then...

When we got the call-- we speedily made our way to the hospital.

(Hours old Henry with 6 year old, big brother, Charlie)

This newest & 6th Grandson is an absolute joy!

We celebrated his first birthday last weekend & frankly-- I can hardly believe it.

I never thought much about being a grandmother when I was young, or when I was a young mother. I didn't know my own grandmothers nearly at all. I am amazed by the new sense of responsibility and overwhelming love I feel for these precious children. I knew being a grandmother would be fun, but I didn't know how much love would be in every aspect.

It's gigantic! It's all encompassing love.

It's a more mature love than the love I felt as a young mother. I don't have the worry of being their parent, supporting them financially or being responsible for their every need.

(I realize that because my children are capable adults- and really, really good parents- I am blessed. )
-BUT-

I can see clearly, that it is my choice to be an influence for good in their lives and that's what I want to be. I want them to feel- only love- not the judgement or expectation I unwillingly put on my own children out of inexperience & unrealistic expectations.

Being a grandparent has taught me already that I have a 3rd chance at childhood. Of course not as involved as my first two opportunities -- my own childhood, and the childhood of my children-- I just know that I don't want to waste it. Even though I typically see them once a week at the most- and not for a full 24 hours, it's important time. It's fleeting- it's going so very fast.

I feel blessed- I feel lucky

Friday, June 23, 2017

writing is good for the soul

back to the blogging

Nearly 2 years ago now- I told my therapist that I would start writing. I promised her on our last appointment that I write here at least once a week. So here I am starting today 2 + years later! I'm considering this as a win. Better late than never. I know I have some raw issues to work through and frankly don't want to write that stuff here- so it's going to be a balancing act.

so here goes:

1. I will be 50 years old in 22 days.
2. I now have 6 Grandsons and 1 Granddaughters!
3. Being a Grandmother is one of the biggest surprises of my life- I knew it would be good/fun but I didn't know how much I would feel needed.
4. Having adult children is harder than I ever imagined, because I am a recovering control freak.
5. My youngest child (I have 6 children) turns 18 - 3 weeks after my 50th birthday. It's not a good combination.
6. I am struggling to figure out what my role in life is now after nearly working myself out of my preferred profession of being the control freak- mom.
7. I come to this blog every. single. day. and read the few bloggers out there that I have followed for years.
8. I miss some of my old favorites terribly.
9. Somehow - they feel like family to me.
10. I am sad at how much of my life is missing here- I have such a great history started- then blew it by not keeping up! dang it! I'm going to try to keep going & even catch up a little.